Fred Toucher, the co-host of the popular "Toucher & Rich" morning show on 98.5 The Sports Hub, addressed his recent absence from the program on Friday.
Speaking near the beginning of Friday's show after being absent all week, Toucher said he checked himself into an alcohol treatment facility on Sunday and remained there through Thursday after "feeling really dark" over the weekend. Toucher said his pending divorce and recent cancer scare led him to start drinking. He also sent out some since-deleted tweets implying that he was thinking of harming himself.
"Five weeks out of work with a cancer scare, there was a lot of time alone," he said. "Toward the end of that I started feeling really dark, exploring dark stuff on the internet. My mood was shifting into being very dark, and so I knew something was gonna happen so I called my dad and said, 'Can you come down?' because while my kids aren't in the house... it would be good to have somebody in the house because I'm going to do something stupid."
"Sure enough, on Saturday I relapsed completely and all that darkness comes out, and for some reason I tweet something that is in my mind at the time probably very clever, and ooh... or very dark humor... or ooh, what is he talking about that in the light of day I realized was not clever at all."
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To keep himself from drinking, Toucher said he checked himself into "a detox" on Sunday morning.
"I was voluntarily locking myself up so I wouldn't drink anymore. I felt like, 'I've lost control, I've lost control of alcohol, I'm not thinking like me. I need to make sure I'm in a position where I do not have an opportunity to drink.'"
Toucher said the next five days were the worst of his entire life. He said he got out of the facility Thursday morning and went to an outpatient facility and then to see his therapist.
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"I have a plan," he said. "The idea is never to drink again. I just can't handle it."
Toucher's co-host, Rich Shertenlieb, was not on Friday's show. The two have appeared on the air together only sporadically since Toucher returned to the airwaves following a cancer scare last month.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or chat live at 988lifeline.org. You can also visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional support.
