Former BC Student Says Texts Show She Tried to Talk Boyfriend Out of Killing Himself

Prosecutors said Inyoung You had urged her boyfriend Alexander Urtula to take his life thousands of times during their 18-month relationship

What to Know

  • Inyoung You, 21, is facing a charge of involuntary manslaughter in connection with the suicide of her 22-year-old boyfriend Alexander Urtula
  • Both You and Urtula were students at Boston College at the time, and Urtula jumped to his death just 90 minutes before graduation
  • You is currently in Korea, but prosecutors said they are hopeful she will voluntarily return to Boston

A former Boston College student indicted in connection with her boyfriend's suicide plans to provide text messages showing that she tried to talk him out of killing himself.

A public relations firm representing 21-year-old Inyoung You of South Korea told the Boston Globe that she will return to the United States in the near future to face the involuntary manslaughter charge filed against her in connection with the death of 22-year-old Alexander Urtula, who was also a student at Boston College.

You's public relations firm released a series of text messages between You and Urtula to the Globe in which Urtula repeats his intent to harm himself and You attempts to convince him otherwise.


"I'm not gonna be anywhere inyoung this is goodbye forever. I love you. This isn't your fault it's mine," Urtula says in one text transcribed by the Globe.

"IF U [expletive] LOVE ME STOP," You replies. "IF U EVER [expletive] LOVED ME STOP."

Urtula allegedly jumped to his death from the Renaissance parking garage in Roxbury around 8:35 a.m. on May 20, just 90 minutes before he was scheduled to walk across the stage at Boston College's commencement. His family had traveled from New Jersey to see him graduate.

You was present at the time of Urtula's death, prosecutors said, having tracked his location as she frequently did on her phone. They said You had urged her boyfriend to take his life thousands of times during their relationship.

"Ms. You was physically, verbally and psychologically abusive toward Mr. Urtula during their 18-month long relationship," Suffolk District Attorney Rachael Rollins said in announcing You's indictment last month. "That abuse became more frequent and more powerful and more demeaning in the days and hours leading up to Mr. Urtula's untimely death."

The abuse was witnessed by family and classmates of both parties and is documented extensively in text messages and in Urtula's journal entries, Rollins said.

In the two months prior to Urtula's death, prosecutors said, the couple exchanged more than 75,000 text messages, 47,000 plus from You alone.

"Many of the messages clearly display the power dynamic in the relationship, wherein Ms. You made demands and threats with the understanding she had complete and total control over Mr. Urtula, both mentally and emotionally. Ms. You used manipulative attempts and threats of self harm to control him," Rollins said.

"She was aware of his spiraling depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by her abuse, yet she persisted, continuing to encourage him to take his own life," she added.

You is currently in Korea. Prosecutors have been working with her representative to get her to voluntarily return to Boston. If not, they said they will pursue other avenues in an effort to have her extradited back.

The involuntary manslaughter charge You faces is the same one Michelle Carter was convicted of in 2017 in connection with her boyfriend Conrad Roy III's suicide. Carter began serving her 15-month sentence in February and was denied parole last month.

In dozens of text messages revealed during her sensational trial, Carter pushed Roy to end his life and chastised him when he hesitated. As Roy made excuses to put off his plans, her texts became more insistent.

If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting 'Home' to 741741.

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